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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Self torture

You did never realize. Me too. Not until now when it is too late. Or too much?

-Jack (in a quiet night)

I noticed that Wilson changed his blog layout (look for his name some where on the left). Not that it came as a surprise since he might wanna just spice things up on his blog but it's the layout that shocks me alittle. You see... Wilson's the type of person that likes to make his blog looks artistic (in his sense) just like his previous blog layout. With having something that is code-written and unique. However, this so-called new layout looks normal and "stable". Something which is not his type I think. Anyhow, I came into a conclusion (given the layout and his postings) which is that Wilson has changed and move on to another phase in life. Which makes me wonder, have I?

After graduating, I believe I had. Alittle only though. First big change is that I'm working full time (duhh...) and am getting fixed salary plus using my own money. I've become much more homely too (since after work is just brain-dead) while still having my unner desire to go wild all night long and such. Anyway, are those the only changes that I've been through during these few months? Are those external changes the only things that I've gone through? One thing I do know is I've quiet down alittle. I'm in the path of getting my directions right again. I've strayed off too far from what I wanted (though what is it that I want?). This is an irregular feeling I always get after I listen to some sappy songs.

On a different tune, I'm fickle. Can't describe much but I can tell you that I'm fickle. Which made me realized why the game which I have loved so much all these years, I'm still suck! I lack focus and am fickle. Could have continued on my shooting streaks (note: my percentage was seriously high when I was bout 17) but I was fickle and let something disrupt me. Anyway, the past doesn't mean anything anymore.

Ok! This is a moody post. I'm pretty dissapointed in myself. I'm dissapointed in sense that I'm too egoistic now. I'm too much of a pussy to take chances. I'm too brain-eyed to keep my attention to a single thing. My flow is disrupted. The worst thing about this is that I can't get a dozen of beers to drink while wallowing it to anyone at all (my best solution is not doable for this). Oh God! Where's the light?

5 comments:

Wilson Liong said...

not that i want to be self-denial, I changed my blog layout just coz i wanted to test something, then just too lazy to change it back... hahahah!

Anyways, i think the only solution for you is... get a girl, get a life, man! hohoho!

Anonymous said...

In addition to Wilson's comment, you THINK too much dude. Wilson still the same guy lacking courage to get a girl and a life.

P/S: Wilson always asks people to get one whereas he suk cun.

Wilson Liong said...

I am 99% sure that anonymous is KimMing, same to u man! hahaha

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA...KM opssss...

Anonymous said...

wilson only noes how to talk..but no action at all..aiih...if i were u, i will do stg that time d...yong...is the only word i can sing u..